So disappointed, you stupid attention seeking…(what’s a nice word for hoe or bitch?) girl.

So recently started attending church and I’m liking the part where I’m slowly regaining my faith in God, but so much happened all at once. I’m just not ready to fully open myself, you know?

Well, there’s another girl my age that is newcomer just like me and I thought how nice. But what the hell. I heard she had depression, I know how that felt so I thought it’d be nice to get along and be happy blah blah blah

I meet her, greet & smile and noticed how bubbly she was. Her voice was high tone and very outgoing. Whereas I’m shy, have a deep voice, and look like I’m frowning all the time (mind you that my lips are small & tend to curve downwards). She talks to people like she’s soooo religious and that week was before Good Friday so people at the church had to decide on what to give up for one week (like meat, coffee, tv, etc) & guess what she said, quote: “I love studying, maybe I should try quitting that. But oh no, I really love studying!” -> This. Like what the fuck. Seriously? She’s trying so hard to be the good girl I guess. Sure this puzzled me but she still didn’t seem so bad. (However my boyfriend didn’t take it too well. He was like “the eff, is she trying to show off she’s better than us or something lol)

Then here’s today. She confesses to everyone where she almost did suicide (I was shocked. I mean isn’t this something personal? You barely know these church people and yet you share this?) BUT to each to their own. If she wants to share, then let her.

The thing that irked me the most was her reason for being depressed in the first place. What was it?

“Well I used to live in Virginia, in a house, but i had to move back here to flushing living in a two apartment bedroom. I was so sad to see my friends in Virginia with all these brand named stuff which I didn’t have when I first moved here. But I changed.”

^Like WHAT THE FUCK. Brand name? I’m just speechless. It’s ironic because she looked liked a person who didn’t care about brands in the first place. (She wears clothes like a elementary school kid and sometimes like an old Asian lady. Sorry for judging but it’s the truth.)

So now every time our church has group meetings, she’d rant about stuff to make her seem all religious and everything. It’s just not cute. Please stop.

This is just a rant. I don’t hate her (trying not to), just annoyed by some of her actions. I will pray for her though. I hope God can guide her the right way. She just seems lost—just looking for attention like a lost child. I hope she will start being religious like she means it. And I need to stop cursing.

Ah feeling much better. Peace out!